Live from the Katnip Lounge, The Kat Pack!

Starring: The Baby *Tiny Johnson * Felix * Rupert * Scouty * CC * Sweet Pea * Maui * May Ling * Salem

and...*Angels Grayce, KonaKitty, and Sylvester* always loved, never forgotten




Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Tubby Tuxie Tuesday

Kitties!

Salem here, and I'm a little miffed.

Mommy says I'm "tubby".  Can you believe that!  I am so NOT tubby.  I'm naturally round.


Daddy says I look like a black shoe box when I walk down the hall.
He is on my list.
I'll be reclining on the floor, minding my own beeswax, and Daddy comes up and grabs my middle and says "Give me this tummy!  GIVE me this FAT little tummy!  (an oxymoron, emphasis on the 'moron' part)
He scrubs my belly until I mew mew mew, and kick and bite him viciously with my mighty jaws.  Then Daddy says "Ow ow ow owwwwww!  You are so mean!  What a FAT mean little kitty you are!"  (Please note the idiotic juxtaposition of 'fat' and 'little')
It's beyond insufferable.


But it gets worse.  Mommy says I look like a HAM on toothpicks!


She is clearly blind.  Hams are pink and bald.
I am black & white and luxuriously furry!  And my Juicy Little Legs in NO WAY resemble toothpicks.
*hmph*


It's a good thing I'm so forgiving.
Is it snack time yet?


Happy Tuesday!

XX  Salem  XX
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59 comments:

  1. Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Loki, and Binq)October 31, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    Dont get upset, just demand more treats!. MOL!

    There once was a kitty named Salem,
    Whose parts were both plush and surealem.
    He got all his treats
    From his head to his feets.
    And they all ended up in his middleum...

    Oh well, we tried...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cat-from-SydneyOctober 31, 2011 at 8:29 PM

    Salem....Salem....Salem....
    It's just fluff, right? You're not FAT, just a little bit ROUND....har har har *evil laughs*

    ReplyDelete
  3. GigiOctober 31, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    Salem, My beauteous one of the JLLs, how *dare* they? How **DARE** they?? (The Human was sniggering as she read tonight's entry, but I can assure you *I*, Spitty-the-Kitty, was not)!
    I was totally outraged on your behalf! You are curvaceous, round and firm and fully-packed, just like Spitty likes his his LadyCats, and that's not even COUNTING the JLLs.
    So THERE, Mommy and Daddy. You just zip your lip if you know what's good for you. *I* can find my way to Nevada if I have to, yes I can!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mr PuddyOctober 31, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    MOL..My Sweet Miss Salem, Whatever you said I'm on your side !
    - just a little bit ROUND ( and ROUND, and ROUND ..MOL )
    - black & white and luxuriously furry!
    - Juicy Little Legs ( Ham ? )
    and I'm melting here....so Baaaaaaaad ; )
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gemini and IchiroOctober 31, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    I think you look terrific.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Angel Prancer PieOctober 31, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    Being "miffed" must be a tuxie thing. Precious does "miffed" well! I thinks you are lookin lushus. Mebbe a well-placed pile of yak would help the pawrents be nicer!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jenna and SissyOctober 31, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Our human recently called one of the cats at her aunt's house a "big meatloaf". (Whisper: He's on a diet.) We're glad you put the bitey on your daddy, though. That'll teach him!

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Adventures of Scarlett and MellyOctober 31, 2011 at 8:53 PM

    Aww, poor Salem. You're just big boned.

    ReplyDelete
  9. SparkleOctober 31, 2011 at 9:11 PM

    Okay, I've just concluded your humans are Really Weird. I mean, seriously - what kind of gibberish are they talking?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Catio TalesOctober 31, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    You are so kind and generous to point out the semantic deficiencies in the things your rather silly humans say. I would just sulk and be offended, but you are trying to learn them proper - and be offended too. Keep up with the biting and kicking - then maybe they'll understand it's not flab but 100% feline muscle under there. By the way, we don't usually do saunas in the morning and for some reason all us mancats are rather overheated looking at your photos. We now need to recover and cool down.

    ReplyDelete
  11. brokenteepeeOctober 31, 2011 at 10:17 PM

    You are just fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousOctober 31, 2011 at 11:14 PM

    BooBoo thinks the curvy cats with the lux fur are very attractive!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Cheyenne -MillieOctober 31, 2011 at 11:21 PM

    Oh Salem! You looks good to us! My mom says I am fat! Hmmm! Good job biting the hu-MAN!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. NadbugsNovember 1, 2011 at 12:41 AM

    It's 2:40 am. First crack out of the box I was laughing. That changed. I read yesterday's post. Think I'll get back to sleep now? Permit me to doubt. Lounger, you have a lot to answer for.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Princess JasmineNovember 1, 2011 at 1:02 AM

    Awww, we can see its just fluff. Its kinda like a hooman wearing a big old fluffy jumper ;)xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. Crafting QueenNovember 1, 2011 at 1:42 AM

    Poor Salem, just demand for treats!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Old KittyNovember 1, 2011 at 3:43 AM

    Gorgeous and most adorable Salem!!! Me and Charlie think you are perfectly proportioned in every way!:-) And very clever too! Yay!

    Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  18. CatherineNovember 1, 2011 at 4:51 AM

    It is looking like your tux still fits you Salem ~ so you must be just the right size!! ;)
    xo Catherine

    ReplyDelete
  19. Forever FosterNovember 1, 2011 at 4:53 AM

    I totally understand where you are coming from. When I race down the hallway to get my dinner, my mum calls after me "swing that shopping bag, Suey!". It's beyond ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Angel Ginger JasperNovember 1, 2011 at 5:09 AM

    Aww they are so not true you are not fat but as mum says cuddly and cute.. Hugs GJ xx

    ReplyDelete
  21. CatNovember 1, 2011 at 5:28 AM

    Just more of you to love Salem :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. DmaNovember 1, 2011 at 5:56 AM

    i'd say you are pleasantly plump.

    ReplyDelete
  23. KnatoleeNovember 1, 2011 at 6:07 AM

    Can I sue your Mommy for making me choke on my breakfast over the "ham on toothpicks" remark? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  24. CoryNovember 1, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    Oh yes...your mom is going to pay dearly for the "ham on toothpicks" remark...my mom nearly spit out her coffee she was laughing so hard.

    Humans can be so rude.

    ReplyDelete
  25. curatorNovember 1, 2011 at 6:46 AM

    But, but, but, tuxedo cats are *supposed* to look like that!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Ivan from WMDNovember 1, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    I can totally empathize, Salem, especially since my mom once said I looked like a horseshoe crab!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Random FelinesNovember 1, 2011 at 7:26 AM

    we just think there is more of you to love!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Kjelle Bus aka Charlie RascalNovember 1, 2011 at 7:32 AM

    OMC !
    Your beans are really naughty ones saying these things to you !
    Your not big , you are just fluffy !

    ReplyDelete
  29. Shaggy and ScoutNovember 1, 2011 at 7:35 AM

    You are gorgeous in every way!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Kwee CatsNovember 1, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    Oh, Salem - you not fat, it's just all that luxurious fluff makes you look that way...we're sure of it...yup.
    Hugs!
    xoxoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  31. My Mind's EyeNovember 1, 2011 at 7:58 AM

    Salem I'm sorry to say but it appears you live with humans who don't recognize a lucious feline such as yourself...I say demerits are in order. Hugs Madi

    ReplyDelete
  32. MargNovember 1, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    Salem, you are down right skinny compared to our BG who we now refer to as Fatty. She is broader than she is long. We don't think you are fat either. That is so norty of Daddy to call you bad names. That certainly calls for a swift bunny kick.

    ReplyDelete
  33. BeadedTailNovember 1, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    Salem, we think it's wonderful there's so much of you to love! You are beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  34. CATachresisNovember 1, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Salem, It's just the light reflecting off your gorgeous tuxie floofs! Take no notice they're just jealous!!!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Megan (Best of Fates)November 1, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    Poor Salem - I think that's curvaceousness!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Brian's Home BlogNovember 1, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    I say you look like you and that is purrfect!!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. LuxingtonNovember 1, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    Aw man, Salem, I'm sorry, I totally understand... my pawents have changed my nick name from "little man" to "little fat man" recently, so rude!

    ReplyDelete
  38. WhisppyNovember 1, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Oh my. This sounds SO familiar. The humans call ME tubby too and have put me on a diet! The nerve. At least you still get treats. Grr.

    Love, Meow-Me

    ReplyDelete
  39. Admiral HestorbNovember 1, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Salem. In NO way are you even the teensiest bit fat! NO WAY! Lay a big bitey on Mr Crazypants next time he says that! SHOEBOX!! How dare he? How rude. The NERVE!!!

    I am outraged on your behalf.

    ReplyDelete
  40. ANGEL ABBYGRACENovember 1, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    Salem
    We think you look -- flat.
    Flat flat flat.
    And we think we see 6 pack abs too.
    Don't know what all is 'fat' talk is about.
    :)
    purrs
    >^,,^<
    ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

    ReplyDelete
  41. Photo CacheNovember 1, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    big boy salem you do have juicy manly legs.

    emma and buster

    ReplyDelete
  42. Oui OuiNovember 1, 2011 at 3:05 PM

    Poor Salem, we feel your pain! The mom laughed but we thought it was down right MEAN. Our mom calls all of us "Puddin'". Its worse than that - Carl is "The Vacuum", "Fat Boy" or "The Melon". Mica Moo is "Waddles". I say, if they can't play nice, squirt THEM with the bottle!
    Purrs & we love your JLL's, Oui Oui

    ReplyDelete
  43. LPNovember 1, 2011 at 3:22 PM

    Hmmmm.We smell REVENGE!



    the critters in The Cottage xo

    P.S. You look pleasingly plump Salem which is a nice plump to be :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. DaisyNovember 1, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    "Ham on toothpicks"... LOL!

    Oh Salem, I notice that your white belleh markings give you a perfect hourglass figure.

    ReplyDelete
  45. PlumaBlanca, the working catNovember 1, 2011 at 4:27 PM

    Oh Salem, I think you are just perfect but your pawrents need a lesson. Try being naughty until they come round.

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousNovember 1, 2011 at 4:47 PM

    Parents can be so silly... And they're all myopic. You're just the right size and have gorgous gams. We need to introduce you to Tucker boy. Now, he's chubby. But adorable, sweet-tempered and squeezable--just like you!

    Lizzie & 3 kitties

    ReplyDelete
  47. MariliaNovember 1, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Hahahahaah! MOL!
    Love your posts!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Link BartholomewNovember 1, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Salem, you have NOTHING on my Aunt Beatrice. Compared to her, you look quite slender to me!

    ReplyDelete
  49. Cat and DOG Chat With CarenNovember 1, 2011 at 6:35 PM

    I don't think you are "tubby" or any of the other names that you have to put up with!

    There is just more of you to love!

    ReplyDelete
  50. The Island CatsNovember 1, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Salem, we can't believe you gotta put up with those insults!! You better be getting caviar as your snack.

    ReplyDelete
  51. UnknownNovember 1, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    Dear Salem!
    You are a most beauteous cat! I love your zoftig curves and Your legs...well they put my sister Nellie's toothpicks to shameI think I am in Love
    Kozmo

    ReplyDelete
  52. FaytheNovember 1, 2011 at 7:53 PM

    but you are such a handsome tubby... err Tuxie kitty! just blame it on that extra fluffy furrz!

    ReplyDelete
  53. SultanNovember 1, 2011 at 11:51 PM

    It is always snack time!

    ReplyDelete
  54. ClarissaNovember 2, 2011 at 7:23 AM

    Oh Salem - who would ever call you a ham on toothpicks?!!! We love your floof. Mom calls our bellies the "mouse pouch" or the "domestic house cat pouch". And she LOVES your belly!!! She said to tell you that she would love to bury her face in that belly fur! Our mom is weird. Have we mentioned that before?

    ReplyDelete
  55. Angel Junior, Orion and SammyNovember 2, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    We purrfur "pleasantly plump".

    ReplyDelete
  56. Stacy HurtNovember 2, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Tuxies RULE! Our body shapes are naturally 'shorter' than most cats and we have a secret super power. (I use mine when I'm being picked up) I instanly take a giant breath and expand all the extra skin like a blowfish!) My body gets so rigid That Woman say's I'm a 'doorstop' whatever that is.

    You are gorgeous and I love your tummy markings too! We tuxies are just the bomb!

    xoxo
    Ms. Jack

    ReplyDelete
  57. GreatGrannyNovember 6, 2011 at 4:28 AM

    Sweet Salem, you're just a floofy ball of furz.
    xoxo Kassey

    ReplyDelete
  58. OskarNovember 6, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Ham on toothpicks! Shoebox! You're going to need a lot of treats to make up for that level of hurt.

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

    ReplyDelete
  59. Prints the CatNovember 6, 2011 at 8:13 PM

    Hey, Salem, you are not tubby. Don't your parents know the camera adds 10 pounds?

    ReplyDelete

Oh Boy...this is gonna be GREAT!

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