Kitties!
I need help!
Do Not believe what The Treat-Woman says! There IS such a thing as a Stew Pot for kitties. I know, because I read about it in this book, which is in Her bookcase:
You can get this book on Amazon--I checked!
Foudini is a very smart Cat, and his Mama taught him all about Humans and their evil intentions. I couldn't read any farther than that in the book...it's probably all recipies and such after the capture of Foudini. You know, Siamese Stew, Fried Felines, Oven-Roasted Ornj, Tuxie Tapas and the like.
You may have seen this photo earlier this week:
This is no joke! Treat-Woman has read this book several times and I bet she's got the ingredients all memorized and everything.
Lately She has been luring me closer to her with chicken jerky pieces. I'm ashamed to admit I've started taking it right out of the palm of her hand--and She tickles my chin. It's only a matter of time before She can grab me. And you know what happens after that!
But boy-O-boy is that jerky good.
Kitties, what should I do? Is getting touched really that nice? Is it worth a culinary demise? Inquiring minds need to know--I'm afraid of being served "as" (not "for") dinner!
I'll be hiding in apartment "A", awaiting your advice.
XX Scouty, potential appetizer
Scouty, you have to stop being afraid of being touched. I didn't trust my mum and dad either but I've been here for four years now and they haven't even mentioned kitty stew. So I think you'll be safe. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteScouty, there is NO WAY yoor momma is gonna hurty yoo. She loves yoo BIG time. We fink kitty stew is made of tasty morsels that kitties like to eat up (like kibble, munchies, ham and stuff like that!)
ReplyDeleteAwwwww Scouty!!!!
ReplyDeleteTreat Woman is a lovely woman and she probably meant "Cream of Stew FOR Scouty"! I think you should just be very brave and let her touch you and give you a big cuddle and later when she's not looking you can put that book in the stew pot and deny all knowledge! :-)
Good luck gorgeus Scouty!! Me and Charlie are rooting for you!
Take care
x
OK Scouty.....humans DO NOT eat kitties. They just snorgle them, and scritch them, and hug them, and snuggle them.......get the idea?? We think your furblings put that label on the stewpot just to scare you.
ReplyDeleteScouty buddy!
ReplyDeleteTreat-woman is very nice and I can vouch to tat!
Just enjoy the endless jerkee, love, hugs, tickles!
It is a gesture of true, unconditional love from them human ...
We kitties are complicated and sometimes think too much (unlike human, who are most of the time, simple-minded).
Don't worry, Be Happy! Have a Good Weekend!
Love, Lucky
We will make absolutely sure that #1 does not see this post so she doesn't start getting any ideas...
ReplyDeleteOh Scouty, The Treat Woman would never cook you and getting petted and sitting in laps is very nice. We thinks she may cook treats for you in the stew pot. Mommy made us some swordfish last night, she made us share it with the beans though. ~AFSS
ReplyDeleteScouty, humans are only dangerous when they're very small and squeal a lot. The most horrifying thing that a grown human will do is give you lots of smooches and potentially make fart noises on your belly.
ReplyDeletePetting is the most Wonderful Thing Ever. And if you ever feel like you're being Petted too much, you can just walk away. The Treat-Woman will understand when you've had enough.
Good luck, Scouty!
You know, pig that my human is, if people could cook cats, I'd be done by now... so given that imperical evidence, well I think you are okay.
ReplyDeleteScouty, your Mommy and Daddy love you and only want to give you cuddles and kisses, love and attention=trust us, it's all great and we can't imagine life without it!...Let your guard down, sweetie, haven't they proven their good intentions to you already?!!...Keep us updated on your progress sweetie...xo...Calle, Halle, Sukki
ReplyDeleteScouty, treats are GREATTTTT! Snuggles are actually pretty cool too, but only on your own terms. I think the stew pot is a human joke - they do stupid things like that. It must mean something but I think your humans love us cats too much to do anything nasty. If you are worried remember teeth and claws are excellent weapons, and then weeing and pooing as a follow up - just to make sure the message really gets home (can you pee in the stewpot when they are not looking???).
ReplyDeleteYour mom is a nice lady and would never hurt you. You just have to trust us. We were all scared kitties once too!
ReplyDeleteCats of wildcat woods
Trust me, it's safe, your in wonderful hands and never have to worry!
ReplyDeleteScouty - your Mom and Dad are hoping you will be one of the family like the other kitties. Just think the other kitties wouldn't be there if it wasn't loving and safe and supplying lots of food and treats and scritches and things. Just relax and let them pamper you.
ReplyDeleteOh my cats you are really in a fix....here I thought things were weird here with Mom mixing up days...but to date she has never pulled out a stew pot....RUN RUN RUN then hide she'll never catch you.
ReplyDeleteMadi and Mom
Did we mention how jealous we are of your giant kitteh lair? Mom showed dad the photo header and said 'look at THEIR kitteh land' and he didn't say anything. We're pretty sure he doesn't want her getting any ideas.
ReplyDeleteRude.
We think getting treats are a wonderful thing. HOWEVER you can use tesla's skill- take the treat and then run. She doesn't like being held.
i don't mind cuddlin! -hansel
Well Mom says you are yummy looking.... But we both think you're safe!!
ReplyDeleteYou have a pawsome mom, she'd never think of making stew out of you. She'll probably make you stew to eat though. If she does, you mind if we come over for dinner? Our mom is a lousy cook. MOL!
ReplyDeleteA closed circuit tv, huh? That is so pawsome!!! Mom wishes she had one in Gretchen's enclosure when she was in there!
The infrared camera is working great though. Soon, she'll have to return it to it's owner, so they are looking in to purchasing one to keep an eye on Gretchen.
Good luck with the new tom cat too. By the looks of the camera pics we have, we need to do some tnr around here too!
Yikes!! When I saw Oven Roasted Ornj, I ran and hid under the bed!! I couldn't read no more!!
ReplyDeleteWally
Yes, scritches and tickles are just dat good! We asked da nefew, cuz he haf neffur lied to us, and he said dat human kitty moms and dads never, ever, eat kitties. We think maybe she is making Scouty some stew. Creamy stew....mmmm, tasty, creamy stew.
ReplyDeleteThe Big Thing better not try that. But, aww, we know he wouldn't.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was thinking about Spot's Stew--it's a tasty food for cats, not of cats.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is not going to hurt you, only love you! You have one of the best moms ever! You must let her touch you. Scritches are heavenly you will find out!
ReplyDelete--JB