Live from the Katnip Lounge, The Kat Pack!

Starring: The Baby *Tiny Johnson * Felix * Rupert * Scouty * CC * Sweet Pea * Maui * May Ling * Salem

and...*Angels Grayce, KonaKitty, and Sylvester* always loved, never forgotten




Saturday, January 8, 2011

Saturday Slaughter

Kitties!

MomKat Trish here.


The other night, the kitchen was the scene of a Heinous Crime.

The Victim:  an innocent roll of Paper Towels
Hum de dum dum dum...minding my own business...

Aaiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip, shredshredshred
bite bite bite rip shred bite

The Crime scene as I came upon it in the morning:

Exhibit "A"

Exhibit "B"

Exhibit "C"

The Crime Prevention Unit was called in.
A protective barrier was erected around the Paper Toweling. 
Taking the Bite out of Crime!

xx  Mommy

*
*
*
*
Salem here...heh heh. 
Mommy, that is the lamest thing I've ever seen.

Any bets on how long before I breach that flimsy edifice?

Happy Saturday!


XX  The Paper Towel Slasher

50 comments:

  1. That slasher is pretty mean. Poor paper towels!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are not lawyers, for cats or any other creature, however... we see that there was damage, but was there a crime committed? And if so, where is the proof that Salem was the perpetrator?

    Even though we are cats, we can say firmly that no, we are not prejudiced... we just need more facts. Reasonable doubt, and all that legal stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We think the CSI team needs to be called in.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you are going to foil a serial paper towel murderer, such a flimsy barricade is not going to do it! What WILL work? Um, uh, I am not at liberty to reveal that...

    P.S. When I saw the title to the post, I was hoping to see some lizard parts or something like that. I was a little bit disappointed!

    ReplyDelete
  5. We think those paper towels were asking for it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes, I'm a friend of him.
    He look normal for me...Nice tuxedo and gentle man cat !
    To have cruelty to the paper towels. I got no idea why he done that ?
    What I see.. it's no motive !
    But what I know is...His hair style look so cool and handsome today. Especially on top of the head !

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nicely done Salem. we have no doubt you can conquer the protective device.

    ReplyDelete
  8. When you have all those knives there what else can you expect? Salem is innocent.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sheesh, one roll of paper towels does not a crime spree make...neither does an entire case of paper towels. Salem, yoo forgot the first rule of being unruly...NEVER ADMIT GUILT.

    ReplyDelete
  10. That paper roll got what it had coming!

    ReplyDelete
  11. We think that looks like the work of night time moths. Nothing what so ever to do with kitty bites or claws. We think your mummy should keep it for next Christmas and use it as snowflake decorations prrrrrrrrrrrr :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. It was George wot done it!!!

    You are all innocent lovely kitties especially beautiful Salem!!! :-)

    Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  13. No proof as to whodunit.

    That barricade is definitely not enough to prevent a repeat.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No proof, no accusation ~ that's what we say.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh that is our very favorite thing to do. We open doors to get to the TP in the bathroom.Mom has to put everything where we cannot get to which there isn't much of. Good job whoever did that. Wonder why they are picking on you Salem?? Hope all of you have a super week end.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Wow. That's impressive! Mummy says don't look too closely at those pictures that we might study how you did it!
    Purrrs, Keiko, Kenji, Pricilla & Yuji

    ReplyDelete
  17. Crime - what crime! Dat's a piece of art work. If you put it on Ebay, you'll make a ton of money selling it, you'll become famous, and your peeps will want you to create more.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hmm, it may be that the paper towels will need to go in a drawer overnight. To prevent them from self-destructing like that.

    hey, Mom says you have a wonderful Wusthof knife set there! ::Drool::

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey, that's been know to happen from time to time around these parts too!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Salem...GOOD narrative! I KNOW that didn't mean YOU had ANYTHING at ALL to do with it. Not at all. You would never attack an innocent roll of towels in the dark of night when the towels had nothing to defend themselves with. Not you, Salem. You just said that to your mommy to deflect scrutiny from someone else..the Mysterious Towel Slaughterer. We know he comes in the night to slay all unprotected towels. It wasn't you--no no no. You simply wanted the ugly incident to end..that's why you suggested you did it, knowing full well no one could believe you capable of such an act.

    (whew...did I get you out of that one??)
    xox

    ReplyDelete
  21. Casper had several paper towel slashings (and toilet paper too) on his record when he was younger but he has been straight the last couple of years. I don't know if the barrier you've created will stop the culprit; we used to put out a decoy roll with only one or two sheets attached. This was of course so boring that Casper lost interest after a while :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. We're sure you will work out a cunning plan Salem and dig under the obstacles to finish off that kitchen towel. Don't they feel lovely when your claws sink through the paper - well we would imagine it would feel lovely - not that we know - we've never fought with one of course!!
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
    ps paper hankies are ok but a very poor second best don't you think??

    ReplyDelete
  23. Salem, don't admit to anything. There was no proof. I mean how does your mom know that one of us CB kitties (I do actually have a rap sheet a mile long when it comes to shredding paper)...didn't teleport over in the middle of the night and have a go at the paper towels. I mean really....

    When she asks we'll all say we did it. Then what's she gonna do. Stop using paper towels? I think not.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Salem, you are very talented. That is the prettiest artwork we have seen in a long time.
    Would you tell Sweet Pea that there is plenty of room for two in our new cube if she would like to teleport over.
    Flynn

    ReplyDelete
  25. Salem, you are too smug. You're picture says it all! My bets are on you that you will once again slash the paper towels.

    ReplyDelete
  26. We don't believe any kitteh could be responsible for such a thing! ( and if they were, they would have had a good reason. Not to mention a great time doing it. )

    ReplyDelete
  27. Look how sweet Salem looks. I think he uncovered a plot, by the towels to over-through the fambily. He had to take acshun! I sais Salem is a HERO!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Salem admit to nothing until she can prove it conclusively like catching you in the act.
    It could have been done by any on of a dozen other suspects.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh goodness, what a brutal crime! Those poor innocent paper towels. I hope the perp is brought to justice and that the new towels stay safe!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Looks like you've got yourself an Al Catpone there...Mmmm..

    Funny post!

    Hugs,
    Tom

    ReplyDelete
  31. I think perhaps Salem was trying to be helpful in the interests of being environmentally concerned. We always buy the paper towels with the smaller sheets..so perhaps this was the intent!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yeah, good luck with that. A slasher with a purpose in the middle of the night will overcome just about anything. . .! (from Pisi & Squeak)

    ReplyDelete
  33. Salem that look on your face is BEYOND incriminating!!!! lol!!! Did any one take paw prints? If not, you are innocent until proven guilty!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Salem, it's only a matter of time till your guilty face is plastered on walls in post offices throughout the land. Not a paper towel in America will be safe till you are in custody.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Awesome post, thanks for the giggle!! :) The paper towel slasher has been to my house too!

    ReplyDelete
  36. I have the same crime committed here at my house, too! Not just paper towel slasher, but also bathroom tissue slasher is in the house too. The barrier is a good idea!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Salem
    I have to admit I like to give a good shred to the toilet paper.

    purrs
    xoxoxox
    *kitty kisses*
    ~Gracie

    ReplyDelete
  38. I think you have been framed Salem and forced to take the blame! I think the detective should have a closer look at your daddy!

    ReplyDelete
  39. But why does your mom think it was you, Salem? It coulda been the boogie monster!

    *whipsers* good job on your paper towel destruction, though!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Dear Fav Baker's Dozen...it has been my experience in my 8 years of life that there are very very evild things lurking in paper towel rolls....good to know you all took care of it.
    Thank you for you b-day wishes for the old lady of the house
    MOL MADI

    ReplyDelete
  41. Salem, looks like you had a good ol' time!!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Haha!! Humans think they can stop us from having fun!! But, Salem, we know that stuff can't stop you from getting to those paper towels!! I, myself, have been known to unroll and shred the whole roll of paper towels...and the toilet paper too....

    Ernie

    ReplyDelete
  43. To Momcat: Unfortunately, the toof really needs to stay in the Human's head because she hadded 'nuthur toof pulled a while ago, and now they want to use the current Very Bad Toof as one side of an anchor to make a bridge. KA-CHING!

    The Human has the Very Bad teef, something she inherited from her parents who had many fine qualities but Good Teef were not among them.
    Sigh.

    She thanks you for your sympathetic thoughts, specially for tossing over the Vicodin & the Rum (happily, she does have her own supply of those things right now, MOL!) And "Auntie-By-Ottikks" also, whatever they are.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Nice work Salem! I laugh in the face of their barrier.

    My word verification was ravasac

    ReplyDelete
  45. Maybe Salem anad CocoBean should live together in bliss with a case of paper towels!
    --JB

    ReplyDelete
  46. Miss Salem, I confess that I can't resist a roll of paper towels. Since it is the only bad thing I have ever done in 15 years, no charges are ever brought against me. And the paper towels are not offered much extra protection. Well, that's more on account of my mom is lazy and often forgets to put them away. :)

    Your friend, Fuzzy

    ReplyDelete
  47. I am infamous for TP destruction. I rip up magazines, too!

    Iza

    ReplyDelete
  48. We don't believe any of the kitties at the lounge committed this crime. We think it was one of the humans sleep walking, or sleep slashing as it were.

    ReplyDelete

Oh Boy...this is gonna be GREAT!