Kitties!
Salem here.
Do you want to know a Deep, Dark Secret?
Yes?
You Do?
OK, here it is:
I am an unrepentant Fruit Biter.
Yes, it's true.
'Twas I who wantonly savaged Mommy's Banana.
And that's not all...
...no fruit is safe from my fiendish fangings! Cherries, strawberries, apples, pears, peaches--I'll pierce 'em all--and more than once, mind you. Even cucumbers. Although I do admit that the watermelon that invaded the kitchen counter this summer was a pretty tough customer. I may have left that one unsullied.
Mommy is a mostly begetable-eater, so there's always plenty of fang fodder crying out to be marauded ripening on the counter. She's become resigned accustomed to eating previously tooth tested fruit--just like Daddy who eats pizza after The Baby has licked the cheese, Mommy is a trooper and eats Holey Fruit.
She better be grateful, is what I say. Not every Mommy has a Personal Produce Pussycat.
Happy Friday!
XX Salem XX
So Salem, are you eating fruit to keep you goin' regular ? Or is it good for your figure ? Or is it just to test your teefs ? Or to cause the most irritating damage for Mommy!
ReplyDeleteÄiti doesn't dare leave any food out of the fridge here, as even if it is healthy we'll have a taste just in case. And wethinks it adds to our human's immune system if we do a bit of sharing.
There you go spoiling your human. Now all of our humans will want fruit-biters, too!
ReplyDeleteI am assuming you do this just for the satisfying little "pop" as your fang pierces the tender un-defiled skin, and not because you wish to actually consume any portion of said froots?
ReplyDeleteAlso, furry nice to see you, though sadly I had to content myself with just a glimpse of the front JLLs & no good view of the rear guard.
So what is your favorite fruit?
ReplyDeleteI suspect when you look so good you can do as you please!
ReplyDeleteJust tell your Mommy that not many people have their own food tasters. You are just protecting her from bad fruit! Ha ha ha ha T.
ReplyDeleteMy human's boyfriend would probably loudly protest if we tried to taste test his bananas. Spoilsport.
ReplyDeleteDo you get paid????
ReplyDeleteSounds like a serious duty!!
Wow, what a confession! And you're so proud of it! But then, when you have such an important job as Personal Produce Pussycat, I guess pride is understandable!
ReplyDeleteStar still thinks The Baby has a better idea with the pizza stealing.. but then, she's no vegitarian!
Your doing a great job there Salem. Not every kitty would like the responsibility of being a fruit tester. Your mummy is so lucky to have you :)xx
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Your Mommy sure is lucky to have a fruit tester. And such a cute one too!
ReplyDeleteOnly royalty has food testers! She should be happy to have you as a faithfull tester... not only that, you should be rewarded for such a risky job.
ReplyDeleteOnly royalty has food testers! She should be happy to have you as a faithfull tester... not only that, you should be rewarded for such a risky job.
ReplyDeleteLovely Salem!! You do such a great job quality controlling mum's fruit you deserve extra treats!! Yay! Take care
ReplyDeletex
Why would your mom even consider eating food before you've tested it?
ReplyDeleteThe Paw Relations
How nice that you test it all for your mum. I hope she appreciates it.. But.. I am sure she does.. Hugs GJ xx
ReplyDeleteHow nice that you test it all for your mum. I hope she appreciates it.. But.. I am sure she does.. Hugs GJ xx
ReplyDeleteWe know you are just making sure that fruit is purrfect for your Mom to eat Salem.
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
In other words you're fruity.
ReplyDeleteSalem, you little imp!
ReplyDeleteconsider it quality control - tell your mommy you are doing her a service!!!
ReplyDeleteSalem, pssssst! We'll trade you our fruit and vegetables for your bakery and bread items!
ReplyDeletesigned, Benny and Sadie
You're a little bit Fruit Batty, Salem!
ReplyDeleteOf course, truth be told, Gracie likes my fruit and yogurt parfaits a LOT and Gandalf likes absolutely everything about Strawberry Shortcake. He does however wish it came with more whipped cream. Me, too. srsly.
I'm guessing you love that piercing of the skin on the fruits and veggies.
ReplyDeleteI had a Siamese that dearly loved a small stuffed turtle of mine for the same reason. The turtle had a tight felt surface covered with holes :)
Do you just pierce them or do you eat them too? We had to get a dictionary to figure out some of what you said!
ReplyDeleteWe say "Better a Salem than a worm"!!!
ReplyDeletePurrs,
The Chans
Your Mommy should thank you for testing her fuds for her, Salem! :)
ReplyDeleteFruit is a healthy snack! I love it. I just wish sometimes it tasted more like chocolate. ;)
ReplyDeleteHave a happy weekend Salem!
xo Catherine
What. No fruit cake?
ReplyDeleteOMC! A personal taster? Don't let our Mom know about this!! Happy Weekend just around the corner!
ReplyDeleteColehauscats.com
Fangs to you, Salem, nothing gets to your Mom without being taste tested by you! I think they pay people for that -- why not pussycats? Mom needs to give you at least a purr diem!
ReplyDeleteWTG Salem..you were just trying to make sure it was safe for your mommy...that is your story and I say stick to it!!
ReplyDeleteBoobie Paws...MOL we are glad you liked it. My human sis came up with that phrase way back with our first family cat...'cept he was a man.
As for me Mom says my boobies are a -AAAAA. MOL I say I come from a long line of flat chested women.
Hugs madi your BFFF
Salem I should imagine you are a very "regular" kitty after all that fruit!!!
ReplyDeleteMOL....Austin's comment has us rolling!!!
ReplyDeleteWell Glogirly is on a smoothie kick. Got a fancy new blender that sounds like a jet airplane. I'm not going NEAR the fruit.
; ) Katie
Your mum should feel very honoured that you test her fruit for her to make sure it is safe for her to eat.
ReplyDeleteI can just picture you on the counter, piercing fruit and vegetables to your heart's content.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!
Salem, we think you're a little fruity....er, make that a LOT fruity!! ;)
ReplyDeleteSalem, what is it about fruit that is so appealing? Are you part rabbit?
ReplyDeleteway to go Salem!!!..give that fruit some toofie testing! Save Mommy from something awful...(peeEss every toss up after taste testing???..just curious) Paw pats Savannah
ReplyDeleteHmm..me would never goes for fruit...that was a hissy old Licorice thing. Even the hairy slobbery sisters abstains from fruit unless it is cooked into their dinner (yes, Mommy Makes their dinner)
ReplyDeleteYous would not catch me around fruit except maybe to bat grapes under the fridge!
Kisses
Nellie
mol!
ReplyDelete::high paw::
Salem, we do need to team up. Sylvester too! ooh, the possibilities...
~Minnie
xo
Salem, my momma Ellie and I are the fruit and veggie girls. I'm passionate about little round fruits and things and I especially adore cherries.
ReplyDeleteMy momma Ellie goes nuts over leafy greens.
Purrrs,
Cory
Fruits and vegetables are good for your diet!
ReplyDeleteNubbin wiggles,
Oskar
I suspect you are part fruit-bat. The fangs, the darkness, the penetrating stare... and of course, the penchant for fruit. YOu are...
ReplyDelete...a BAT CAT!
Salem, we thinks you should finish eating your food and not just leave tooth marks in it.
ReplyDelete