Live from the Katnip Lounge, The Kat Pack!

Starring: The Baby *Tiny Johnson * Felix * Rupert * Scouty * CC * Sweet Pea * Maui * May Ling * Salem

and...*Angels Grayce, KonaKitty, and Sylvester* always loved, never forgotten




Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sucky Monster Saturday

Kitties!

Johnny here, with some disturbing news.
::paw slap::

A long time ago, Eric & Flynn asked us how we (Daddy, really) kept the Catio so clean.  To answer this, I'm gonna reveal one of Daddy's secrets:  he's a vacuum freak!

Sad but true.

In fact, for his birthday he got a new Dyson, as if the three we had already weren't enough!  You read that right, he already had THREE Dysons; a regular upright, a Ball (Mommy's), and a canister vac (also Mommy's).  Wait a minute...Mommy has TWO Dysons and Daddy only has one...we need to rethink this.  Maybe Mommy is the vacuum freak.  Anyway.

Sick, sick, sick.

Since the Catio gets a lot of leaf debris, dirt, and cat litter on it Daddy likes to have a separate vacuum to use out there, two or three times a week.  
We get our revenge by peeing on it, and for some reason this angers Daddy.

So he did this: 

Can you believe it!?!
He hung it up!!!!

How are we supposed to kill it?  There's no way we can whiz on it now unless we leap and pee at the same time, and frankly, none of us are up for that.  I'm not letting any Cat stand on my back, either, I have enough issues keeping my tail clean as it is.

And the vacuum you see there?  That WAS Mommy's Ball vacuum, it's now at our pal Rio's house, terrorizing him!  The old upright is hanging up now, and Daddy's horrible birthday present is lurking in the hall closet.
So let's see; now Daddy has TWO vacuums and Mommy just has one.  Either way, it's three too many in my opinion.

Dyson = Evil

Happy Saturday!

XX  Johnny  XX

57 comments:

  1. Praline always hated the Kirby Monster. Wonder how Truffle and Beignet will react to it!

    Mom Paula

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  2. Gosh I hope that thing hanging there doesn't give you nightmares and mess up your sleep patterns. Do take care of yourself and keep one eye on that 'thing'. Hugs, Deb=^..^=x4

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  3. We agree! That is too many evil dysons! Mommy has an evil rainbow. It doesn't bother me, but the sisfurs haf a hissy fit! Happy Caturday! xoxo

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  4. Those Daddies are diabolical creatures, aren't they? That hanging Dyson is quite something!

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  5. Man--that's so unfair that you can't even kill the evil thing!

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  6. I HATE vacuums with every ounce of my being. I'm deathly afraid of them. If Mama or Papa so much as looks at the vacuum, I'm gone under the bed or in the closet. I can't believe how many vacuums are at your house! Horrors! Oh, Johnny, I sympathize with you all the way.

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  7. Ugh! Those things are WORSE than evil!

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  8. That's funny that your daddy had to hang up his Dyson! We don't mind the vacuum unless it gets a tad too close and makes us move.

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  9. OH SURE! You just HAD to show THAT WOMAN the idea of hanging the blasted thing up so now I can't PEE on ours anymore EITHER!

    WTFUR???

    The upside is now the Lizzards we bring in for sport can't hide under there anymore! HA!

    xoxo
    Ms. Stella O'Houligan

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  10. Hee, that's funny! It makes sense to have lots of vacuums with lots of cats - my single vacuum is pretty taxed just cleaning up after two shedding fiends. You are lucky your folks have Dysons as they are very efficient and probably make for less vacuuming!

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  11. Haha this did make me chuckle! Mr Darcy likes to swat at our vacuum cleaner, but from a safe distance across the room so he doesn't actually have to get near to the sucky monster!!

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  12. Now look, Johnny. I don't want to cast aspersions on your creativity or anything....but, geez, you're missing the OBVIOUS here!

    Isn't that a little ramp right up to a perch directly over that Dyson? Forget all that cr@p about peeing mid-leap, or playing "Stack-a-Cat." Can you not ascend that ramp in stately fashion and let the "golden showers" droppeth upon the Dyson below???

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  13. Oh, we like Spitty's idea of a golden shower. You not only pee on dat evil thing but also on da floor below! Daddy gave mom something called a built-in or whole house vacuum...da noisy part lives in da basement, but, da part dat sucks up our furs hisses like a snake and scares us anyway!

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  14. Great photo, I think 3 is too many! :)

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  15. Vacuums seem evil, that is for sure. Around here, Mom sweeps with the broom, thank goodness. I stay out of the way of it, but it doesn't make horrible monster noises at least.

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  16. My humans bought a new sucky monster today at the shops. I broke that last one, but this one seems even more efficient. They couldn't afford a dyson, but they got a hoover with a cyclonic system. Daddy already used it today to vacumn up the dirt I spilled in the bedroom (oops). I never thought about peeing on it before, maybe I should try that?!

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  17. OMC such an evil dad you have !!!
    That hang up the Trunk Dragon on the wall out of reach for you cat´s ??!!
    I hope you manege to have a great wekend after all !!!

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  18. Mr Johnny!! Me and Charlie think this calls for very creative ways to get that bad Dyson!! What about killing it from above!??! You can climb up the ramp, pretend you are about to just relax and then - weeeee!! LOL! That Dyson won't know what will hit it! Yay!!

    Take care
    x

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  19. I'm not sure I'm posh enough to associate with a four (or is it three?) Dyson family!!!! Feeling a bit inferior now :(

    Love Austin, who has only one working Panasonic!!!

    >^..^<.

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  20. I would go potty on the vacuum if I could, too!

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  21. We would definitely go potty as Daisy says, on those dang gum machines. That is just awful, having three of those things lurking around there all the time. Yuck. Have yourselves one heck of a week end.

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  22. We agree with Daisy and Marg...aaannnddd, we like to make a wet mess just before the sucky thing comes so that it gets it all wet sucked up and smells all over the place! Hee-hee! Evil sucky thing!

    Enjoy your weekend!

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  23. OMC. We thought WE we alone in this cleaning thing! Mummy has a Karcher vacuum AND a canister vacuum which she uses to torment us on a DAILY basis. And now, they bought a STEAM CLEANER which we can't even begin to describe how wierd it is.

    Love, Whisky, Cosmo and Ling

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  24. I hiss at the sucky monster and get on the back of the loveseat to save myself. Three sucky monsters is too many!

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  25. Those things are so scary!! Why do our humans need them, a little fluff and dirt isnt hurting anyone!

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  26. We have a Dyson too and think they are great vacuum cleaners!!! The boys don't like it though and especially the fact that I vacuum just about every other day! I sorta get a kick out of seeing how much cat hair accumulates in the clear canister after each cleaning.

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  27. Mum has one of those Dyson menaces - we always beat a hasty retreat to the garden when it pops it's head out the cupboard.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  28. Banjo doesn't like the yellow Dyson sucky monster either. But at least it's hidden in the closet most of the week and he doesn't have to look at it every day. Poor kitties!!!

    xo Catherine

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  29. I about died laughing reading this. I know how it is around here when I pull out the shop vac for cleaning up at the litter mess and shedded fur. I'll have to keep the cats away from the computer. I don't want mine getting any ideas about seeking pee revenge on the shop vac.

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  30. Wow. Sometimes it's a problem having a Daddy with great DIY skills, isn't it?

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  31. I still think it might be worthwhile to try and purrfect the leap and pee technique.

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  32. So I was in my hotel room during my trip to Memphis..
    I was channel surfing when I came across QVC and they were selling a cordless dyson... It looked amazing so I had to buy it... $300... I got it last week and man does it suck... Literally... it's great and I can't stop vacuuming.... The boyz aren't too happy with it though...

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  33. MOL!!! Every day, when I read your blog, I stay feeling good. Love you!
    Kisses and have a great weekend.

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  34. Those humans can be smart sometimes. We have a Dyson as well but we never kill it. This week Odin killed his first bird. The horror!

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  35. The publicist once sucked Fred the Farm cat's tail up in the vacuum. She thought it was very funny.

    Fred did not.

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  36. I'm finally used to the sucky monster, but I stay out of it's way.Smart Daddy, hanging it.
    xoxo Kassey

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  37. OMC! My mom is laughing her tail off over here, how rude! I feel your pain kitties, my dad is a vacuum freak too.

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  38. Evil Vacuum!! Evil Daddy!! Evil Mommy!!!

    Wait... is that the treat bag rattling?!?!?!

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  39. Come on guys - how strong are your pee muscles? Bum off the shelf, let gravity help you pee on it from the top. And what about thwacking the water fountain out of the way and projecting really hard towards the evil Dyson ? THere has to be a way.

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  40. It amuses us greatly immensely that you kitties peed on the Dyson. You are our heroes!

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  41. Three Dysons sounds like our worst nightmare. Have you tried front legs bent, back legs straight and bum high? A bit of practice and you could be getting there.

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  42. An art installation. A very fine piece. Deep. An important Statement.

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  43. I really don't see anything wrong with hanging one of those!!!

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  44. Why does seeing the hanging vacuum bring to mind Clint Eastwood? I think it might be the hang 'em high thing..it does look awfully threatening. It may stop the peeing in its tracks...

    Tom
    xoxo

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  45. We would climb up that ramp an hang our butts over the edge. Ya should be able ta get it GOOD that way!

    We almost never see the sucky monster here. On the other hand, even WE are getting tired of the dust bunnies and kibble crumbs.

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  46. MOL...Me and mom never heard anyone have Evil Dyson as a present ! As long as it's not your present...Ha..Ha..Ha..Mom said she wish my dad could be a he's a vacuum freak. My dad is far far from it but mom said he is good cooking : )

    Happy Saturday to you too
    xoxo

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  47. Three Dysons is too many! I hate the sucky monster so much, I run UTB as soon as mama opens the door of the closet where it lives! I never thought of peeing on it, though. Hmm . . .

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  48. Oh no, three Dysons? That's too many! And your dad vacuums two - three times a week? That's too many, too!
    But it's so funny you pee on it and your dad hung it up. War over Dyson is going on... :-)

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  49. Four Dysons how do you kitties have any peace in your home with so many sucky monsters. There would be a constant thundering herd of elephants here if Mom had that many.

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  50. I think peeing on it is ideal! How DARE your dad squash your creativity!!!

    xxoo

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  51. How about standing on that ledge above it, squat and drop some fresh poopies down on it? That's what we would do! hehehe!

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  52. Hahahahaha!! Your daddy thinks he's pretty clever!! Man, we hate our sucking monster!! We never thought about peeing on it. But our mom keeps it in a closet so we're not sure how we're gonna pee on it.

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  53. not only do you have to LISTEN to that evil monster you have to LOOK AT IT!!???

    Nooooooooooooo!!!

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  54. We have something like a 'dogio' but it is temporary...we cats rule the entire house and the dogs get the dogio...besides, little Ginger thinks the whole world is a toilet right now so she just does her business anywhere....geez, dogs are so dumb...why can't they use the litter box like we do? Needless to say, the dogio is less the pristine...dogs are messy creatures. Messy. Stinky. Weird. Duuum-gs. Haha. Purrs, Lautrec

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  55. that is low; just low. we don't mean low up onna wall--it's just a low-down dirty shame that he fixed it so's you couldn't avenge yerselfs! an' to hang it up there where it mocks you 24/7?? that's cruel an' unusual punishment--call yer local SPCA!!!

    our beans has a dyson, an' even the dbd is afurraid of it, although she follows dad around the yard when he's onna ridin' lawn mower. we finks she's a li'l ... ummmm ... quirky.

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  56. Ok Johnny, if the evil Dysons get to be too much for ya, you can come live with us at Headquarters! Waddaya say? Ok, how 'bout now?

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  57. Kitties, can you please send your Daddy to Canada to teach my kitties' Daddy how to be NEAT AND CLEAN like that!! Totally freaking awesome.

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Oh Boy...this is gonna be GREAT!