Salem here, with a sad tale of woe.
Mommy went to Sam's Club (where she got us a great box) and bought Daddy twenty new pairs of socks. Daddy goes through a lot of socks; he wears 'em in the garage, down the driveway, and sometimes he even gardens in his socks! Mommy uses a lot of bleach to get 'em clean, which speeds up the aging process...
But I digress.
The sock-packs came with a sticky band around them.
And so my woe began.
Daddy (sing-song voice): Salem! How would you like to wear a little saddle?
Salem: I think I would hate it.
What do you think of that saddle?
Aaaaaauuuuuggghhhh! This THING has stolen my bones!!!
Where are you going with that saddle on?
I'm getting away from YOU, you maniac.
You belong in a padded room.
Daddy & Mommy: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
oh cod oh cod oh cod...it's STICKING to my fur! Must escape!
Whereupon I leap'd through the flap and ripped the sticker off.
Later, when Mommy came out to throw it away she discovered that somecat had peed on it. A fitting revenge on the sticker...
Daddy had better sleep with one eye open tonight.
XX Salem XX