Live from the Katnip Lounge, The Kat Pack!

Starring: The Baby *Tiny Johnson * Felix * Rupert * Scouty * CC * Sweet Pea * Maui * May Ling * Salem

and...*Angels Grayce, KonaKitty, and Sylvester* always loved, never forgotten




Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Tattletux Tuesday!

Kitties!

Salem here.
You may (or may not--pay attention!) be aware that Mommy thinks I am, erm, rotund.

She LIES! 
Names that have been bandied about at my house:
"Mini Orca"  (as in WHALE)
"TUBseedo"
"Waddles"
&
"Fatty Fatty Boom-Ba-Latty"

It gets worse. 
Mommy claims I've gotten so fat Reubenesque that I can't properly wash!

MORE LIES! 
As you can see, I can bathe just fine.

Maybe I might have a wee bit of difficulty reaching the Under-the-Tail region...bit what kitty doesn't, from time to time? 
A little bit of crust never hurt anybody.

You would think that I'd committed heinous CRIME or something the way Mommy goes on and on about "diets", and "hygiene", and blah blah blah. 
It's getting a little old, Mommy.
Besides, I like it when you use a warm washcloth on my bum.


Happy Tuesday!

XX  Salem  XX

53 comments:

  1. We are laughing so hard here - Mini Orca!!!! Waddles!!! And the pictures...... hehehehe. Hang on, I'm trying to keep typing here but Mirsku-veli is pushing me out of the way. Hey, Mirsku Fatboy stop it. What do you mean you want to look at the pictures ? That's a girlcat. What do you mean you can see that. Stop dribbling.

    And from Äiti to Momcat Trish: it feels all soft, beautifully soft. And they wobble a bit. There was a definite point at which their shape changed and they 'dropped': after which f you push them gently they wobble.

    Äiti, we hope you are not talking about what we think you are talking about. You are ? we need censorship please!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, I'm LUFFIN these pics! I like my kittehz wif sum meat on em! And the wash cloth thing is the best! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. How can you go on a diet in a household of 13 kitties? At our house just managing two with different eating "needs" is a full time job!

    You do look very cute, Salem. Though I know the extra lardiness is not too healthy for you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh no, Salem. I feel your pain. I look at food and gain weight. Mama agrees with Simba above. She says it's very hard to do diets in a multiple-cat household. Simba, who's the skinniest around here, is the only one who doesn't clean his bum. I cringe at those names even though Mama was cruelly laughing.

    Purrs,
    Lucy

    ReplyDelete
  5. p.s. For the record, I think you look wonderfully perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well, you do look a bit....fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  7. Although I do think it's important for a kitty to keep a trim figure so as to avoid health problems later in life (the same way humans should), I think the idea of your human cleaning your bum for you is awesome! That is one way to keep them aware of the pecking order in your house.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are not fat. You are perfect. I mean you know what I go through? Someone forgot my fishy flakes tonight! And all because I couldn't turn around behind the dryer because I got stuck she thinks I'm fat! As if.

    ReplyDelete
  9. MOL...... ^..^ We likez da Fatty Fatty Boom-Ba-Latty :)))))) There'z jus more ov you to luv ,,, besidez who can see da crust at leas you ain't white ^..^

    ReplyDelete
  10. You just come here and live with me Salem. I'll drive out to the desert and pick you up next Thursday, OK? That mean Human does not deserve you *OR* your beauteous JLLs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm with you, your mom speak lies! You look great in the photos. Sure makes me miss my tuxedo kitty, I love the white chin!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You look perfectly fine Salem. I think mommies have a thing against us fine robust tuxies.

    Bujang _a robust Tuxie

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awwwwwwwwwww, you are such a cutie. Problem solved if mummy can clean you huh ;)xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. If your momma didn't want you to get big, why did she name you after a city?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think you're adorable! More to love and all that jazz!
    But the nicknames make me giggle, sorry.. There used to be a calico here who was so round that you could not get your hands around her middle. She had some nicknames but nothing that creative! Mostly it was cow-cat. which is fine for a black and white kitty, but not for a pretty calico!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You look great. Maybe your mom need glasses?

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are a fluffy cat, Salem. We have Scooter - also quite fluffy and Wart who is just tall and lanky (called 2-ply sometimes), and then there is me, perfect I think. Some traits are just inherited from our fore-kitties and we are just what we are.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sexy Salem! You are a purrfectly formed precious princess!!! Yay!!

    Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think you have a pretty figure!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Alex here. I feel your pain. My mummy thinks I'm too fat too. She calls me "Tank", "Tankard", "Jabba" and worst of all, "Fat-lex." But I get my little girlfriend Naomi to wash me. You should try that with one of the cute girlie cats!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Love that tummy, it just wants to be stroked. :) You are just fluffy, tell your Mummy. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh Salem. that is just plain mean!

    BTW, I find having my own woofie very useful in dealing with those "nether" regions...

    Purrs,
    Sei-Chan

    ReplyDelete
  23. Take no notice Salem - we think you look very cuddleable.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. just more of you to love is what i say.

    ReplyDelete
  25. As Garfield used to say "round is beautiful!" LOL

    ReplyDelete
  26. Salem you are a full-figured kitty to be sure!!!! But that just means there is more of you to love :-)

    ReplyDelete
  27. we think there is just that much more of you to love!!! As Ivy says, nothing wrong with being a big girl - besides, if you both lost weight, how would you sleep on your backs in the sun??

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hey, you look great, and Remember,, diet is a four letter word!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can not get into the house to see them (unless I make a run for it when door is open) but I think some of my brofurs and sisfurs may be a little extra fluffy!
    You are purrfect!
    Happy Tuesday,
    ~ Bob

    ReplyDelete
  30. MOL Salem...the very next time Mom utters the unmentionable word...say this to her
    "sticks and stones may break my bones..but words will never hurt me"!!
    Hugs Madi

    ReplyDelete
  31. Salem, you're a little on the "robust" side, but we think you are perfect.

    Our human wishes Sissy (a.k.a. "Stinky") liked some cleaning assistance. Sissy only has three fangs, but she knows how to use them...

    ReplyDelete
  32. Salem, you're a big beautiful girl and you can play with us big boys any time.

    ReplyDelete
  33. MOL. We just love all your names! And if you're big, that just means there's more of you for us kitties to love!

    ~Slash & Bronzy

    ReplyDelete
  34. Codswallop! Tuxies is just short! Miss Jack here; *I* am a tux and I haz the same issues (which of course aren't issues at ALL!) Name calling is truly the mark of lesser minds. You are free to come hang with me anytime you like.

    xoxo
    Miss Jack

    That Woman: "Miss Jack's nickname is 'The Chooch'"

    Miss Jack:
    "Really? was that altogether necessary? And thank you for proving my point you of lesser mind."

    That Woman: "Lesser mind maybe, it comes with having to put up with too many cats! But I still have thumbs and look! Oh isn't that too bad, you still DON'T!"

    ReplyDelete
  35. Your Mommy uses a warm washcloth on your bum? How pawsome! Your Mommy sure is mean to call you a mini orca. LOL. Have you given her a taste of an orca's bite?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Salem, your figure is just like mine - purrfect! Efurryone else is just jealous of our beautyness!

    Purrs,
    Isabella

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh yes! You'll know your really in trouble when the other loungers mistake you for a soccer ball. Just saying. Anyway you're not overweight, you're just overfurred! :)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Salem
    We think you have a womanly figure and it's very beautiful. Besides you are airing it out no need for special baths.
    purrs
    >^,,^<
    ♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥

    ReplyDelete
  39. Salem, there are perfectly good solutions to every situation :) and it seems like you have yours!

    Have a great week!
    Pip, Smidgen, minnie, Hollie

    ReplyDelete
  40. Salem, we don't think you are too fat at all.You should see some of the kitties around here. Miss Tubola is even fatter. You look just fine, just a little more to love. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  41. We are shocked at the lies and insults directed at you....isn't there a law against this sort of cat abuse??

    ReplyDelete
  42. Well, Salem...it does look like you haven't missed many meals..but there's nothing wrong with that!!

    ReplyDelete
  43. I feel your pain, Salem! I get called Waddles too! And Tub-a-larda, Chubby Cheeks, and whatever else pops into the mom's little brain. Who cares if we get a little crusty? It must be a people thing. Diets are for people, not kitties.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Mini Orca?! We're not laughing. honest. Really not.

    Hehehe, your mummy is sooooo rude!

    ReplyDelete
  45. We know what happened...your mom didn't get there with the camera while you were washing all those other parts...you are lookin' mighty fine and very well groomed sweet Salem. We like that tummy very much. Hugs and nose kisses

    ReplyDelete
  46. Tubseedo! Reubenesque! Teeheehee. Oh, Salem. I'm definitely not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you. Yup, that.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Even on a no-grain food, some of my guys were a little on the tubby side - not that you are, Salem - but switching to A Taste of the Wild no-grain has made a difference. They love it, are eating more, but losing a lot of the "fluff." Not that anyone's ribs are showing, yet! Hope your family has a happy and safe holiday season.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I think you're beautiful Salem, though I understand your mom's concerns. Maybe one of the other kitties could help out by chasing you?

    ReplyDelete

Oh Boy...this is gonna be GREAT!