Friends and Kitties!
Sheeb-a-Ram-o-Witz* here.
Do all of you feel a warm glow? You do? Excellent. It's cos I'm so grateful for all your good thoughts, sweet comments, and concerned emails generated by last week's semi-crazed post. Sometimes when you're at wits' end the best thing to do is shout out for help and let your peeps get your back.
Without going into all the gory details, Scott is bi-polar and one of his Mania triggers is the change in seasons. Add to that a major epiphany about his (mentally abusive) childhood and he swung into full frenetic mode about a month ago; not sleeping, not eating, constantly talking, hyper-critical, paranoid and loud. It's exhausting. Fortunately, it usually doesn't last too long, but while it does he's incredibly intense and demanding. Naturally, we fight, because I don't put up with crap from anybody--but I should listen to a friend of mine's advice: "don't argue with crazy people" because there's no reasoning with somebody in a manic frame of mind. I do it anyway--I can't help myself--I must be just as crazy. And last Saturday we had a epic barney, precipitating my frantic posting(s).
As per the past, this particular swing moderated quickly. I think half the problem in the manic phase is the delusional behavior brought on by sleep deprivation, so as soon as we figured this out (duh!) and he took meds to help with that he was able to ramp down. It's tough for me, but it's even tougher for him...he has to live with himself 24/7. Anyway, things are better, and strange as it may seem we have some extremely insightful "conversations" during these periods.
I've had some friends ask me why I stay, and it's because I know that this behavior isn't Scott, it's his illness. My Scott is a funny, kind, and wildly creative person who mentally challenges me every day. He is the smartest person I know; the way his brain is wired enables him to make huge imaginative leaps which I find fascinating. I am beguiled by the way that man thinks, and plus, I love him to bits. So I hold on and put my head down when he's nuts--and allow myself to ask for support weathering the storm.
All I can say is you guys are the best bunch of pals in the world.
Thank you, so much.
Now, go forth, and Have a Happy Sunday, and a Great Week!
XX Sheebie XX
*You thought the cats had a lot of nick-names? They've got nothing on me. I'm the Queen of Aliases.
Me and the Human thinks youse guys was made for each other, and the 13 cats, too.
ReplyDeleteKudos for hanging in there. Glad this storm seems to be waning. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI think we all have "issues" - some are just bigger than others - and I agree, it's those good days that keep us coming back even when the tide is out and the water table drops.(what ever THAT means - ha ha...) We all love you very much so any time you need us, just hollar, we'll be there. XOX T.
ReplyDeleteIt is good he has you and you are glad you have him so therefore you are meant to be.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear things evened out with some chemical help. My human met Scott for what, a handful of hours? And she says he is probably the smartest person she knows! I am sure anyone else would be terminally boring, so we get it here.
ReplyDeleteÄiti here: Good to read all this. Well, not the tough time you had, but the positivity and the LOVE you have. Yes, illness does awful things and you all suffer because of it. Does light have an influence at all - we have various light things here in Finland I can tell you about if you think there's any chance they'll help.
ReplyDeleteWe're glad the season's turned and it's great to hear from you.
Scritches to the brood.
In French we say "you never heal from your childhood" and this is so true... I am so often angry with adult people when I see how they treat their children, knowing some things will traumatize them, and will have a strong influence on their life, their relationships with others... My husband and I were childless during 16 years, when people asked us what was the secret of our union, we answered by a joke "in fact we stay together for the pets".
ReplyDeleteHave a nice day, Trish!
So glad Scott was able to sleep and dial it back.
ReplyDeletePerhaps less tie-die shorts would help calm him?
Just kidding, of course. =)
We have a plethora of mental illness in my family... everything ranging from bipolar, schizophrenia and classic depression... the beat goes on. When my niece is in a manic phase I swear she could part the seas. And when she's in a depressed phase, she wants to take everybody with her! And when one of those phases coincides with her cycle... Holy moly! Duck and cover!! srsly.
Thank goodness Scott doesn't have one of those, huh? LOL!
Scott is lucky not only to have someone who is smart enough to know it's the disease and not him but loves him enough to stick by him! Actually, it sounds like you're both pretty fortunate!
big hugs xoxo
You both have our sympathies, and we're glad you're there for each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad things are levelly out again, Trish. It seems, from talking with others who are bi-polar or who have family members who are, that the person in manic phase doesn't realize the impact of their actions on others. How could you? So I think it's equally hard on the person going through it *and* on their spouses/family members, though in different ways.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and universal Light to you both.
Must be hard for both of you. Thankfully you have each other and the kitties. Lots of hugs.
ReplyDeleteIt's strange as I do have a warm glow :) But now realise it's probably a hot flush!! ;) Anyways, I am glad you have got through. You are obviously both highly intelligent and aware. It does help! And that will probably be the nicest thing I ever say to you! :P x
ReplyDeleteCOD, Austin's typist is funny. Anyway, glad things are getting better for you and I personally think it is so good for you to reach out to the friends. Nothing better than getting things out in the open. It is no fun trying to do stuff alone. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteIt's always harder for the person witnessing the stages than for the person going through them. Why do people stay? Love ,of course!
ReplyDeleteJane x
Trish, I'm glad things are better now. It sounds like Scott is lucky to have you...and vice versa...those sometimes it may not seem like that. And remember, we will have your back if you ever need us again.
ReplyDeleteSue ox
Glad to hear things are getting better.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheeb-a-Ram-o-Witz! :)
ReplyDeleteI am sorry this happens too frequently, hopefully you will be able to find a way to make these transition times easier for both of you. Many purrs for you both.
Your love and wisdom are inspiring, Sheebie. Scott is so lucky to have you...and you are so lucky to have him. You definitely have more than your fair share of rocks in the road, but you just step over them and around them with grace, compassion and humor.
ReplyDelete(((love)))
This has to be so hard for both of you. We're glad things are better now.
ReplyDeleteWe are so glad to hear the good times more than outweigh the not so good.
ReplyDeletePurrs and hugs from all of us to all of you!
Mindy
Moe
Cookie
Mike
mombean - Nina
We think you are both incredibly strong and loving people-thank God he put you together. We're so sorry you both have to go through that illness, it must be awfully difficult as crisis hits.We'll be here purraying for you.
ReplyDeleteJada and Scully and Ellie
So glad that things are better for Scott which makes things better for both of you! I can't imagine how hard it is on both of you in the midst of all of it. I'm so glad you two found each other in life because it was so meant to be. Hugs to you both!
ReplyDeleteYou love him, you know in the episode its not him and you cope and get through it. That is a good partnership and a whole lot of love. Always here to talk and understand. Hang on in there. Hugs Carol and GJ x
ReplyDeleteYou love him, you know in the episode its not him and you cope and get through it. That is a good partnership and a whole lot of love. Always here to talk and understand. Hang on in there. Hugs Carol and GJ x
ReplyDeleteHugs to both of you and the Baker's Dozen. Scouty..I saw your note to Spitty. YOU are what good cats are made of. That was the bestest note Spitty could get. You told him how you felt but you left it on a high note. xoxoxox
ReplyDeleteTeam work can whip the things that pop up and present challenges and I'm so happy you two + 13 are working it all out. Hugs from all of us.
ReplyDeleteHugs and purrs from someone who knows about ups and downs. Troubles shared are halved. (((hugs)) from me and the boys.
ReplyDeleteGlad things are better - the offer of kitten sniffing still stands when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteyour scott is a lucky man....and you are a wonderful, wise and caring woman.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheebie oh boy is the advice right about not arguing with folks dealing with 'issues'. My mama has Lewy Body Dementia. This morning she called to tell (exact quote) me she spent the night away from home (she did not) she had no wheels and needed 10.00 for a cab. I told her I'd take care of it.
ReplyDeleteWe are glad Scott is feeling like the Katnip dad and you are feeling like whomever you chose to be...hugs madi and Mom
((hugs)) We are glad to hear things are leveling out....
ReplyDeletelove this line: "this behavior isn't Scott, it's his illness" - if only more people would realize this. :)
I think the best thing you said, and it is so true, is that it's not Scott, it's his illness. Figuring out that he needs sleep is a big one too, lol, ANYone can get crazy without sleep!
ReplyDeleteGlad you weathered the storm, and I'm glad you are able to reach out for support, and know it's there for you. We all love you guys!!!!
I am very happy to hear things are starting to get better. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWow - I am so behind in my email and I didn't know about your posts. I just open your blog, look at your header and feel like you have a perfect life. You are awesome, and I am sure Scott is, too. Love is the answer for you two, and you have that down.
ReplyDelete{{HUGS}} hope things are working out OK.
ReplyDeleteWithout going into too many details, the lady relates totally to Scott's illness. The best way she can explain it is: you become a totally different person. You are LITERALLY not yourself.
ReplyDeleteHow lucky he is to have you.
Aw, pally, there is a reason you two are together and sometimes we don't know why, but we stay. I'm glad he is feeling better and so are you. Know that we all love and care for you both.
ReplyDelete((hugs)) for you all.
You are very brave to bare your soul. We all do have one cross or another, but most of us are not courageous enough to share. Prayers for you and Scott and all the kitties as well as purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette
ReplyDeleteSheebe! I hear you and I know exactly what you are talking about!! I love my guy too - although I am not sure whick is worse the manics or the depressives...
ReplyDeleteKisses
Nellie
That's the best part about a team...you work together :)
ReplyDeleteYou two show lots of love and understanding. Lots of hugs and purrs to you both.
Purrs Tillie and Georgia,
Treasure,Tiger,JJ and Julie
and mom Nancy
You are so wonderful and brave. You will overcome hard time because you are together. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts to you and Scott.
ReplyDeleteWow! Do you know the KruseKat's Mom Wanda? Her husband is like that. She always debates leaving him. Once he even threw my Parker. I can hook you up on FB and you could talk. She says if it gets real bad, she'll get a hotel room with the cats. I'm glad things are back to normal at the Katnip Lounge.
ReplyDeleteSheebie, we are so glad that things are better than last week. We love that your love is more powerful than any illness. Hugs to you, Scott and the 13 kittehs!
ReplyDeleteLots of bipolar disorder in my family!!! I understand what you're dealing with, and I am sending good thoughts for you both. Glad Scott has someone as understanding and supportive as you in your life. Make sure you take care of yourself, too. oxox
ReplyDeleteTrish, good news indeed. Glad it has simmered down and better days are ahead.
ReplyDeletemy step daughter is bi-polar so I know somewhat (at least a little) about what you are going through. It IS HARD.....and you are right "it isn't THEM, it's their illness"
ReplyDeleteWe all often have A LOT going on that others don't know about, I most certainly do....I just turn a blind eye and pretend that much of what is going on doesn't exist...nothing like an escapist mentality eh?
I too have lived with a bi-polar and it isn't always easy. I had to leave mine as he became abusive to me and life threatening. I am so glad you can ride out these times with Scott. One of my best friends is like this and we have our ups and downs also. Love is the strongest way to help! Glad you are able too. Sending you both lots of love and hugs and kitty bonks!
ReplyDeleteLinda
Me and mom are very happy to hear things are starting to get better and that you have each other <3
ReplyDeleteNo worries, sounds like you guys have things under control=I mean, we are all crazy in our own way, right?!...You guys are wonderful and your babies are so lucky to have such loving parents and a great home...As always, we wish you the best and send lots of hugs, kitty kisses too!...Your friends...J, Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat
ReplyDeletewell, Mom Linda and I are late as usual, but we did know you had a tough time cuz of good old CWB on FB. And happy to learn Mr Scott is better now. Bipolar is tough on the person and on family; I imagine even the cats know something is off with Dad. You are all furramily and that's what counts and we have your backs!
ReplyDeleteI know only too well what you have to put up with. My son has recently been diagnosed as bi-polar.
ReplyDeleteAnd they're right about not arguing with them -- whether in the manic phase or the depressive phase, because they are just not logical.
Is your husband on medication (hopefully)?
I also did some reading and found that there is a possible link between giftedness and bipolar (my son is also gifted). The same goes for depression.
The sleep deprivation is the worst, though.
I hope your hubby's back on an even keel. Luckily, apparently the manic phases don't last as long as the flip side.
Sending you big hugs and warm thoughts.
ReplyDeletexo Catherine