Sacked Out Selfie

Kitties!  

Tiny John here.

I set the timer for my selfie and sorta fell asleep waiting! 

 Five seconds is so l-o-n-g...

Happy Sunday!

XX  TJ  XX

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Shivering Selfie

Kitties!

Maui here.

Last Thursday I was minding my own business, happily growing humongous armpit mats and tummy dreads...when, without any warning, this happened: 

Noodity!

Kitties, Me-n-Johnny are freezing our kiesters off without our fur coats.  The day after our grooming a cold front blew through; John's been burrowed under the bedclothes practically 24/7 and I've been camping out on the sofa in a plaid blanket tent.  However, as soon as the summer heat fires up (next week, hopefully) we'll be thrilled to be nood and the nekkid wrestling will begin!

Happy Sunday!

XX  Maui  XX

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Maui Wowie

Kitties!

Maui here.

Come closer...

closer...

HEY!

That's close enough.

Happy Wednesday!

XX  Maui  XX

Manscaping Monday

Kitties!

The following conversation occurred last week:

Mommy:  Cripes. 

 Maui is sleeping with his eyes open again...that creeps the bejeebers outta me...MAUI, Maui, wake up!  I have something to tell you.

Maui: Whaaaaa?????

I was napping!

Lemme come to here...just a sec...

...OK...now, what?

Mommy:  You know all those dreadlocks under your armpits?  And on your tummy?  Well guess what--pretty soon they'll be gone!

Maui:  You mean I'll wake up and they'll have disappeared?

Mommy:  Um.  Well.  Maybe not quite like that.  

There might be a little more...effort...involved.

Maui:  **thinking**

WAITAMINNIT!!!

Does this mean I'm getting a shave???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(to be continued)

Happy Monday!

XX  Maui  XX

Floofy Friday

Kitties!

Tiny Johnson here, with a sad announcement:

I am a Condemned Kat.

Because next Wednesday, terrible things are going to occur.

All my floof is gonna go POOF!

Mommy made the call for my annual shave, so the only thing left floofy on me will be four of these: 

my feets.

*big sigh*

Kitties, the HOTS are coming and the time to get nekkid is nigh.  Me and Maui both quite enjoy our yearly deforestation--we prance around like kittens for days afterwards--and both our fur suits are so thick and dense it only makes sense to take 'em off and go nood for the season.

Of course there will be photos...

Happy Friday!

XX  Johnny  XX

Featherless Flasher

Kitties!

Sweet Pea here.

Mommy was practicing her photography again.

I agreed to model for the modest fee of elbentyzillion treats.

Before I got my Summer shave I had such long furs on my legs and hiney that Mommy called me Miss Feather Pants.  I was a little freaked out at first being nood, but now I really like it.  Mommy says I have the Number One Cutest Cat Butt she's ever seen...and she's seen a lot of 'em so I trust her judgement.

Nekkidity makes keeping tidy easier too. 

My toe-hawks are still long and luxurious, so until my coat grows in, just call me Miss Feather Feets.

Happy Friday!

XX  Sweet Pea  XX

The BIG Reveal!

Kitties!

We had another terribly traumatizing day...people banging on the roof, and strangers inside the house, again.

The good news is the groomer stayed away!

The bad news is that the peeps only managed to get photos of three of the four nekkid kitties...so we hope you're able enjoy this paucity of noodity, the biggest noodist--John--managed to stay off camera.

(but not for long--ed.)

So without any further ado, may we present the Katnip Lounge shave'd felines:

Miss KonaKitty got her first-ever shave at the advanced age of 17!  It's never too late to try something new...she refuses to let Mommy comb her any more and her mats were beyond what could have been regularly groomed out.  So far she's liking feeling the wind on her hide.

Maui enjoys having all his raggedy furs gone--he has the finest, staticky, matting fur in the world which make huge dreads on his tummy, no matter how often Daddy combs him.

Flasher alert!

Mommy loves Maui's striped skin.

And who does Mommy spy?

None other than the fourth shavee:

Sweet Pea!

Who, although she didn't want to pose for the camera, seems to be enjoying her short summer 'do quite a bit--she was a wild thing this morning, galloping around the Catio, and snuggling under the covers with Mommy at bedtime.  Mommy says Miss Pea's fur is even thicker than Johnny's, and her shorn pelt feels like incredibly plush velvet.

So there you go!  We long-haired kitties are all ready for the HOTS this summer.  And don't fret, Mommy will get more, and better photos of everybody, just as soon as the construction is over--hopefully Saturday.

Happy Friday!

XX  Kona, Maui, and Sweet Pea  XX

Scheduled Noodity

Kitties!

Once again the warmer weather is creeping in, and shedding season has started.

Maui toothily detests being brushed and is once again sporting a bumper crop of dreads all over his undercarriage.  (not pictured)

Johnson suffers from chronic PoopaLoons, and today opted to drag his butt on the sofa.*  Mommy was Not Amused.  Therefore she made an appointment with the mobile groomers to come out and give the boys their yearly shave!  Daddy requested pom-pom tails again, that dirty rat.  They both will pay.

Enjoy the floof while it lasts...

Happy Monday!

XX  Johnson and Maui  XX

*and on the floor.  also not pictured.  Thank Cod.

Noodie Photography

Kitties!

Tiny Nekkid Johnson here.

Mommy put me up on this scratchy post.  Since I do NOT do heights (I'm near-sighted and refuse to wear spectacles) I was unhappy about it and gave Mommy a Stern Look.

But she ignored my Look (cheeky wench) and said I needed to pose for all of you to show off my summertime shave, so I Struck a Pose that highlights the contrast between my regular neck ruffles and smoothly-shaven hide.  

Then I jumped down where I belong, with all four on the floor.

In case you are wondering, my skin is colored just like my furs!  Striped, brown, black, and pink underneath the white parts.  Mommy says my type of markings are called "piebald".  I don't know how I should feel about that...

  

Anyhoo, now that I'm all set for the HOTS in my cool (and verreh comfortable) new fur-do you can see I'm actually not a fat cat, it really was all floof!  I have a nice trim waist and rippling shoulder muscles.

I'm buff!

Embarrassingly, Mommy says my manly meaty thighs are "cute", and she constantly fondles them.

What a pervert.

Happy Monday!

XX  Johnny  XX

Hotsy Totsy

Kitties!

zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

*wink* 

Oh, hello there!

I was having a little siesta, dreaming about a handsome young spark--I may be old, but I'm not dead!

Maybe he'd like to view my bald nood tummy*: 

When it's really toasty outside (like it is right now) I like to wedge myself under the overhang and up against the cool concrete slab.  This way I can warm my bones yet keep my cool-cat countenance.  The electrical cord pillow's an extra bonus--sometimes having a slovenly Daddy is a good thing.

Happy Wednesday!

XX  KonaKitty  XX

*I've kept it over groomed my entire life.  I like it that way!

Oh My COD!!! The Indignity of it All...

Kitties!

Maui and Johnny here.

Yes, the worst has happened.

The Dreaded Mobile Groomer!*

Words fail us...it's up to you to come up with some snappy captions.

Leave 'em in the comments!

A

B 

C 

D 

E 

F 

Happy Thursday!

XX  The Noodie Twins, Maui and Johnny  XX

*Aptly named "You Dirty Dog".

Maui Overhears Ominous News

Kitties!

Maui here.

Mommy was on the phone last week.  I heard her uttering words like "groom", and "shave".  Ominous words, like the mood in my photo.

I thought if I closed one eye and listened hard her words would sound brighter.

Alas, my understanding remained blurred.

Whatever.  I refuse to worry.

Because there's no way that Mommy can find me here!  It's too dark.

Happy Tuesday!

XX  Maui  XX

Formerly Floofy Friday

Kitties!

Nekkid Tiny Johnson here, and I have something shocking to tell you:

I like being nood!

That's right, I don't miss all my floof in the least.  I can roll around all I want and nothing sticks in my coat, and when I get a scratching it really feels good!  Mommy says my hide feels like hot velvet.

Noodity is so freeing.

No more endless licking, grooming, furballs, and mats. 

No more beige tummy fur!

I have so much more time to watch out for my favorite snack, The Baby.

Who knew that nekkidness was so time-efficient? 

 

Mommy has been threatening to shave me for the last couple of months, she even borrowed a set of clippers from a friend and gave it a go on my ginormously generous pantaloons--no dice.  I was getting poopy cling-ons all the time, and my flanks and chest were so matted underneath that I had to bite Mommy every time she tried to comb them.  And then there was the "beige issue"--I couldn't get my white parts white, no matter how much I washed.

Mommy asked about grooming at the Evil Vet's, and she wasn't happy with the price, the fact they wanted to knock me out, and that I had to have all sorts of vaccinations beforehand.  She considered taking me to a groomer, but then she got to thinking (dangerous, I know) that KonaKitty has grooming issues too, and Maui is a disheveled  mess and is too antsy to stay still for a combing.  Which meant toting three of us to a grooming salon, not fun for anybody involved.

There had to be a better way.

At least, better for Mommy.

And there was!  Mommy had seen the Dirty Dog vans in the neighborhood before, and she filed the dastardly information away for further nefarious use.  As you can see, she called and we got groomed--KonaKitty also got some shaving on her hinders but she's too much of a lady to show y'all.  Maui is incredibly soft with neat, organized furs, and check THIS out: 

I can use the box without getting sand (et cetera) in my pants!

Daddy can't get over how sleek I am. 

Side by side with Sylvester, he's actually bigger than me, so much for me being the fat cat, heh heh.

Look how floofy my tail is now, it's as wide as my hips! 

It's still really loooooooong, too.

Mommy was surprised my skin didn't have stripes--I'm solid gray underneath. 

The groomer girls did a great job shaving me, my fur is nice and even, and Mommy only saw one nick on my skin--and I got a good report card, too!

I was very well behaved, it seemed prudent with clippers buzzing around my bum.

All in all, I'm quite pleased with my new look--lion mane, floofy tail, and moon boots.

And nood everywhere else!

I hope you all still love me... 

Up close I still look the same.

Happy Friday!

XX  Johnny  XX