Kitties!
Maui here, showing the Back of Disrespect.
You may have gathered that I went to the Evil Vet on Saturday. You know, the same day that I got a new brofur...who I like, by the way. We both have white tippy toes!
But back to Saturday.
Kitties, I did the standard singing in the car, and nervous looking around in the waiting room. I haven't been to the Vet much; once to have my Hooha's removed and once for a check up.
So I wasn't expecting what happened next.
::cue Banjo music, a la "Deliverance"::
Kitties, I was VIOLATED! Twice.
I'm standing on the Exam table, and the nice (or so I thought) Dr. Bennett is scritching me and listening to my heart and feeling me up a little bit. That's OK, I can hang with some heavy petting.
Then, all of a sudden up goes my tail and something cold went in my bum! Yes, it was the Evil Thermometer.
Kitties, my bum is a one-way valve. I girded my loins and launched that nasty thermometer OUT and across the exam table! Dr. Bennett said she had never seen a kitty do that before... Long story short, I clenched my anal sphincter so tight Daddy had to grab my hind feets, Dr. Bennet lifted my tail, and Kitties, I lost the battle. My temperature was taken.
Here is a picture of my poor abused 'tocks.
Which I am never showing to anybody, ever again.
I don't think I'll ever get over the trauma.
I need a nap.
There, that's much better.
Happy Tuesday!
XX Maui
Oh the trauma! Your dad better watch out for retaliation!
ReplyDeleteThat's horrible! Why these vets want to have their evil way with us kitties, I'll never understand. Even curling up in a ball (my favorite tactic) does not help.
ReplyDeleteHappy bums! We are discoverin ours...
ReplyDeleteI hope that your tocks get happier!
ReplyDeleteOh that's horrible...Mom...stop laughing! It is SO NOT FUNNY! Sorry Maui, mom is snickering and stuff like it's funny...
ReplyDeleteMuch respect. projectile thermomoters! !! the mercury did rise :)
ReplyDeleteThat's just so horrible Maui. Wonder how Dr. Bennett would like HER temperature taken like that! At least you got a new brofur so something good came out of it other than a flying thermometer.
ReplyDeleteHandsome Maui, we are so sorry to hear of your traumatic vet experience, but your story made our Mommy LOL!!...Sorry, sweet friend, we don't know what got into her...We hope you got extra treats when you got home; maybe some nip to calm your nerves...xoxoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki
ReplyDeleteProps, man! Across the table? Really? That's PAWSOME!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are being nice to your new Brofur. Don't let him hang out too much with The Baby. Or KonaKitty. Or juicy-legged Salem. Or Grayce, neither, because I'm starting to be a little interested in her too.
You know what, just make him be friends with the boycats, 'kay?
You launched the thermometer?! Now that is a clever way to show your disapproval!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear that you are getting along with your new brother. He looks like a nice kitty.
Thermometer ! Horible !...Oh poor thing, I wish I can get away with that for my whole life
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I feel better when saw you have a good nap : )
Puddy
Good one Maui, we'z neffur known a kitty who could launch da thermometer out and across da table! Our vets take our temachure in our ears so we gets to avoid dat whole "wrong way" thing. Zippy went to da vet on Monday, she was good and only bit mom once...hehehe
ReplyDeleteThat's what we call Maui Wow Wee!
ReplyDeleteWe are in AWE my friend... we too have had the indignity. We'll have to practice this repel thing you speak of...
ReplyDeleteHee hee hee
ReplyDeleteHigh five Maui! *jane smacks paws with Maui* I'm so bad at the V.E.T. that they have a note in my chart not to even TRY to take my temperature! For real!! But DUDE! I never spewed one across the table.
*jane smacks another high five with Maui*
Oh Maui. Isn't it horrible!?!?!?!? And they wonder why kitties go nutso at the v-e-t.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww adorable Maui!! Me and Charlie are so so glad you came through such a very personal examination intact!! Good grief!! You poor sweet thing! We hope that your mum and dad not only gave you a wonderful new furbling but extra smelly extra large portions of extra smelly noms for all your distress!! You poor thing!! Awwwwwww!
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely rest now - you deserve it!! Take care
p.s. we think Deliverance is one of the scariest films ever!! *shudder*!
x
AAIIIEEEE! I am clenching tightly in sympathy.
ReplyDeleteOh, we are very impressed that you have the power to launch thermometers with your butt! Those are powerful 'tocks!
ReplyDeleteOh Maui - you poor boy (soft pat on back in sympathy). You'll have to each me how to make a rocket out of dat thermometer thingy! Boy would I love to surprise my vet!!
ReplyDeleteOh you poor kitty ~ what an experience you had to go through. But you are so lucky to have a family that cares enough to take you to the vet to make sure every part of you (EVERY PART) is in tip-top healthy shape! :)
ReplyDeleteAfter all that you deserve a nap! :)
xo Catherine
OMG, what a trauma and what a day! Glad that now everything is okay and you can enjoy your nap!
ReplyDelete***By the way, your tail is amazing beautiful! ;)
purrs,love and happy Tuesday
Luna - WE LOVE LUNA
Oh Maui what a terrible thing to happen! The thought of it brought tears to our eyes and made us clench out tocks tightly. You must tell us how we can shoot the thermometer out of our bums too for when we next have to go to the evil vet.
ReplyDeleteWe are disgusted with our mum. It brought tears to her eyes too, but can you believe it is tears of laughter? She even read it out to our dad and then he laughed. Humans can be so cruel sometimes.
Maui, we are shocked and overcome on your behalf! What a terrible violation!
ReplyDeleteFor some reason our mom is overcome with laughter -- how rude of her!
We hope you are plotting revenge on your humans.
Maui....mom (aka my typist) is LOLing so hard she might misspell some words. This is hilarious!!!
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of a kitty expelling a thermometer but YOU ARE MY HERO and I might try that technique one day!!! Soooooooooo it sounds like in payment for your abuse you got a new brother. MOL
Madi
Oh, Maui, yes, that whole themometer business is just terrible. Like the other mamas, mine is laughing too. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteLove that last pic of you sweetly sleeping. Have fun with your new bro!
Poor Maui what a dreadful experience!!!
ReplyDeletePS - my kitties are getting a new brother too :-)
That is so awful, but at least all is well that ends well!
ReplyDeleteYes, hoomins have strange and sometimes disturbing ways, don't they? Hopefully this will not happen again.
ReplyDeleteIs something catching going round - our mum is laughing and laughing something about a jet propelled thermometer. Do we need to learn about this because we have got to go to the v-e-t
ReplyDeletenext month for our annual shots and we need to go prepared in case our tocks are violated.
Maui we hope you are being pampered.
"Wowser!! I thought only Thomas could do that!!" says Zaphy.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad sad story. We don't think we will ever come to terms with reading what you went through. Poor poor cat
ReplyDeleteHow horrid that you lost, sweet Maui. You fought a good battle though!!!!! Next time we see a thermometer, we're gonna have to try that trick!!!!!! Our mama just can't stop laughing about the jet propelled thermometer....wonder if she'll think it's so funny when we learn to do the same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe are so happy to hear you like your new brofur.
Love to all of you.
Geez, our mom won't quit snickering either!
ReplyDeleteOf all the indignities the thermometer up the bum is the worst!
You are the Master, Maui!!!!
Good show!
OH HOW AWFUL! Yoo'll hafta scheme sum revenge.
ReplyDeleteWell, as much as I have hated my vet visits, they have never taken my temperature. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies. Good for you for at least trying to prevent it.
ReplyDeleteWow, you have strong loins to do that! We don't like that thermometer. Our mom has taken our temps a couple of times when she thought we were sick, and we hated it! We hope you get lots of treats today to make up for it.
ReplyDeleteHaaa! so sweet! The last pic shows it's been forgotten already :D
ReplyDeleteOh you poor sweetie! We wouldn't let them be seen again either!!!
ReplyDeleteMy Mommy is laughing so hard and I think that's very unfeeling of her! The thermometer is what got her to laughing. She shook me off her lap!
ReplyDeleteYou really went thru it big time Maui. That better never happen again!
MOL!!!!! Oh Maui! That is so funny that you sent the thermometer flying! Wish we had thought of it!!!
ReplyDeletebwahahahahaha! srsly.
ReplyDeleteI think you should get in the Guiness Book of records because you are the first cat launching thermometers with the unspeakable, lol !
ReplyDeleteNice to meet such a special cat ! Hope you will visit my cats now more often !
I hate to say this, but that was a very funny report of having your temp. I have never heard of anyone to actually spitting thermometer out. That is very talented of you. Take care and have a great day.
ReplyDeletemaui, we are in awe!! you are a god!! we worships you!!
ReplyDeleteYes, we too have felt the violation of the thermometer. We don't know how to tighten up enough to eject it, but maybe we should work on that. Thanks for coming over to meet us at the Cat Jam.
ReplyDeleteAw, man, Maui! We can't believe you hadta suffer that indignity! And our mom is actually laughing about it. How dare she!! Y'know, I gotta go to the v-e-t on Thursday and if they try that on me, I'm gonna pull a Maui!!
ReplyDeleteWally
Oh boy we hate temp taking!!! Mom has a thermometer at home just for us just in case. She has had to use it on each of us at some point. Tesla just lays there and meows real loud, Ben stands there like a good boy, and I close my eyes look away and hiss. -hansel
ReplyDeleteIt's best to remedy such a situation with a stiff toddy and a cigar.
ReplyDeleteLove the tock photos! You certainly have a cute tock!!
ReplyDeleteI think you poor tocks need some rest. It must be very hard to launch a thermometer across the room!!
ReplyDelete*Human bean, stop laughing for pete's sakes!*
Dang, Maui - you EJECTED that thing?? You're going to have to explain exactly how one does that, because we think it's something we would need to know how to do. We're very glad you like your new brofur. He's had a rough time, so we're glad you're making it easy on him to settle in to paradise. We hope he's not sad anymore and that he forgot all about his previous life~!
ReplyDeletePoor Maui!
ReplyDeleteDude that is just wrong. I hate it when they do that!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't have nightmares.
Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar
Yow! We are sorry you were violated, Maui. Happens to us too (how rude!). We are very impressed with how you handled the situation. Cute tocks, btw. :)
ReplyDelete-Pip, Smidgen, Minnie
Mom laughed so hard she almost peed. I'm sorry for that friend...
ReplyDeleteOh dear oh dear oh dear! Thank God I had just gone to the bathroom and wasn't sipping my drink! What a hilarious write up! Love it!
ReplyDeleteMaui, you've got some powerful sphincter muscles, dude! we're in awe! (and we're going to start practicing for our next v.e.t. visit...heh heh.)
ReplyDelete