MomKat Trish here.
I have something terrible to tell your Moms and Dads.
Maybe you should go sit down and have a Niptini, you're gonna need it.
Because I'm on to ALL of you!
Last week Mr. Crazypants and I bought a new car and the Cats chipped in on the down payment. I was quite proud of them saving up their allowance money, but then I discovered this:
A giant chest of money, stashed in the closet!
Over by the vacuum, where the Horde thought I'd never look.
And by the money was this catalog:
Um, Johnson, why is your kitten picture on the cover?
I know NOTHING!
Moms & Dads, do you occasionally lose track of a Cat and assume they're just sleeping somewhere?
They're out Cat Modeling, earning thosands of dollars.
Of which you see NONE. Zero. Zilch.
I plead the Fifth.
The limosine pulling up to the house is a good Clue that your Cat might be sneaking Out.
They use tiny cell phones they can dial with one toe, a la "Zoolander".
Is your Kitty a picky eater, or a habitual barfer?
Eating disorders are RAMPANT amongst Models!
This can be another Clue.
Aliases are common.
Have you seen this Cat?
Cats often use just one Name, like Fluffy or Tom, to escape detection by their Humans.
And the trickery doesn't stop there!
They put on fur make-up, too.
And wear tiny contact lenses.
The worst of it is the secret Swiss bank accounts.
Which does NOT go towards stinky goodness, Cat Trees, toys, Nip, etc.
Or VET bills, either.
What they do with all the money, I haven't a clue.
Probably manipulate world money markets as part of their Evil Plan for World Domination.
I'm just happy that the Lounge Kats yakked up some cash for my car.
Mommy loves you.
This has been a Public Service Announcement.
Thank you for your attention.
XX MomKat Trish