Close Encounters Of The Mommy Kind

Kitties!

Scouty here.

So, this happened:

Never a moment's peace, I tell ya.

Mommy is a menace.

Happy Friday!

XX  Scouty  XX

Sneaking Up On Scouty

Kitties!

Scouty here.

Mommy thinks she is being all clever and stealthy.

NOT!

Happy Caturday!

XX  Sixth-Sense Scouty  XX

Yearly Appearance

Kitties!

Scouty here.

Since the HOTS started, all of us here at The Lounge have been shedding like banshees* according to Mommy, and she's been a Woman Possessed, pinning us down with her grabby hands and brandishing The Evil Implements of Fur Removal.

With, of course, the exception of me.  Because, No Touching.

So every year I construct a little Catlick (cat + cowlick) on my back from the extra fur.

It drives Mommy batcrap crazy--she's dying to snip it off.

(For your information, batcrap crazy is worse than crazypants!)

Naturally this will NEVER EVER happen.  I mean, really, I don't generally even let her get close enough to get decent pictures...like today.

I'll remove the latest catlick in my own good time--the longer I sport it the batcrappier Mommy gets--and that's a good thing, right?

Happy Tuesday!

XX  Scouty and his Clingon  XX

*whatever THAT means

Stewpot Boy

Kitties!

Scouty here.

This is hard to admit, but I'm mellowing as I get older; I let Mommy get Dangerously Close* to me these days, especially if I know she's got something yummy in hand--lately it's been canned mackerel--and she approaches me slowly with the bowl held out where I can see it.

Still, there is NO Touching allowed.

Not now, and not ever!

The possibility of becoming the main ingredient in Scouty Stew is just too great...I just know the treats are to fatten me up and make me all tasty and stuff.

So I keep my lasers ready, just in case.

Happy Caturday!

XX  Scouty  XX

*under a meter!

Un-Touchable

Kitties!

Scouty here.

I've been pondering the latest news of my pal Spitty, who, after a period of mourning the removal of his Royal Jewels, has given up his feral ways and become...*gasp*...a...a...oh it pains me to say this...

a Lap Cat.

Horrors.

Let me reassure all of you, even though MY jewels have long since disappeared, that I am, and will always remain,

Un-Touchable.

No matter how soft or how handsome or how winsome I may look.

*I* have standards!

Happy Monday!

XX  Solo  Scouty  XX

pee ess:  any Touching the peeps may achieve by sneaking up on me DOES NOT COUNT.

Catlicks

Kitties!

Scouty here.

Springtime shedding season is upon us here at the Lounge, and as usual I'm starting to sport a fine selection of Catlicks on my spine (where I can't reach).

Daddy was talking some smack about capturing me with a net and hauling me off to the vet's office where they could gas me into submission and groom me.  Mommy just about died laughing at the idea and said she couldn't wait to watch him bag me; comparisons to greased pigs were made...but...apparently Daddy expects her to assist him!

As if that's gonna help.

Because we all know it's not happening.

Ever.

Happy Caturday!

XX  Scruffy Scouty  XX

NOT Taken with the Zoom Lens...

Kitties!  

Scouty here.

Yup, I'm letting Mommy to get really close nowadays.

Like, within four or five feet.

Most days.

As long as she keeps her arms by her sides I'm cool.

Usually.

But still, no Touching!

Happy Wednesday!

XX  Scouty  XX

Dilemmas

Kitties!

Scouty here.

I'm experiencing my Annual Cold Weather Quandry: where to sleep at night.

All summer long I snooze away the dark hours in glorious, uninterrupted solitude on the Catio, but with the advent of chilly weather I have to relocate indoors...an area inhabited by the Lumbering Apes, and their bothersome grabby hands.  

One of my favorite spots is on Mommy's pillow, however, she insists on using it too.  Such a bother.  Daddy's bed is out, even though my beloved Tiny Johnson sleeps there--Daddy flails wildly in his sleep and again, it's bothersome.  

The cat tree by the back door is nice, but the light switch is there and the peeps, with their paltry night vision, insist on using when they go out onto the Catio.  This bothers me and I have to leave.

I generally end up sprawled out dead to the world and snoring cautiously resting on the sofa, where Mommy studiously avoids looking at me when she gets home from work*.  It's tough, I tell you, getting in my 22 hours a day!

Will it be summer again soon?

Happy Friday!

XX  Solo Scouty  XX

*At least until he gets up and requests a piece of chicken jerky--he sure wants attention then!  

Breaking News!

Kitties!

This just in:

Scouty hopped up on the sofa while Mommy was sat there (and more importantly, awake)...and he STAYED!  For like, a whole minute!

 Tiny Johnson, a.k.a. "Security-Barrier-Cat" was nowhere to be found at the time of the event.

A witness was able to obtain one single grainy cell phone shot before the phenomenon came to an abrupt, scurrying conclusion.

In a subsequent interview with Rupert and Sweet Pea, Scouty made the following statement:

Don't count on this ever happening again guys...

well, not too soon, anyway.

I know that you know that I sleep with Mommy sometimes at night (at the foot of the bed) but that doesn't count as wanting closeness and affection, right?   Because as you can both see I still have my best friend Mister Catlick hanging on.  I don't want anything or anyone else--human, that is--Touching me!  They might give me cooties.  Or smothery love.

::shudders::

Happy Wednesday!

XX  Scouty, Rupert, Sweet Pea and Mommy's Knee  XX

Three's a Crowd

Kitties!

Scouty here.

One of Daddy's friends gave him us this Terrifically Awesome recliner.  This thing does it all--it massages and heats up and pummels the peeps into a dribbling pile of boneless goo.  But the best part is that it's made out of leather...soft, snuggly, stinky steer hide.  I love it!

So the other evening I was enjoying the New and Most Wondrous chair...

...and not all by myself, as you can see.

Me and my BFF John were all hootchie-scootchie'd together, along with my seasonal pal:

My Catlick!

See it?  It's behind Johnny's head.  This year I had three catlicks on my spine--two fell off (and Daddy found one, more on that later) so I have one stubborn catlick left, clinging on by a few furs.  It just kills Mommy that she can't Touch me (or even get near enough to think about Touching--ed.) to pluck it off.

Rumor has it that if I ever have to go to the vet she's gonna go all Big Game Hunter on my hide and nail me with a tranquilizer dart!*

Like that's ever gonna happen. 

In the meanwhile, I'm having fun driving her even further 'round the bend...and teasing her with my bushy tail, which she also would dearly like to feel. 

 *heh heh*

In your dreams, Mommy.  In your dreams.

Happy Tuesday!

XX  Scouty and John  XX

*and pet and smooch on him while he's out!

Stout-Hearted Scouty

Kitties!

Scouty here.

It's been great here lately at The Lounge, with the Mommy all lame and stuff.  First off, she can't make any quick, sudden (read: grabby hand) moves to try and Touch me; and secondly, I can hear her dragging her bad leg a mile away--like Igor--which gives me tons and tons of time to run away strategically juxtaposition myself.

Ergo, I've been sleeping out in the open a lot.

I particularly enjoy sleeping on Mommy's* bed.

It's even better if my humpalumpa brother John joins me for a nice long snooze.

I'm a big snuggler.  Of Felines.  

Skootching up with Johnny is like cuddling a furry sack of rumbling hot lava.

He's big enough to hide behind, too, especially when that dratted Mommy does manage to sneak up on me.  What more could I ask for?

Happy Monday!

XX  Scairtypants Scouty  XX

* I love how Mommy smells.  She can feel free to smell up the house any time, just no Touching.

Scouty Couldn't Resist!

Kitties!

Scouty here. 

 Even though I'm a Big Chicken semi-feral it doesn't mean I don't like to play with toys!

Even if that Missus Try-n-Touch the Kitty is on the other end.

Some things are just too fun to pass up...

...like these mutant ginormous blades of grass Mommy brought home.

Look at how close I got!

When I get to playing I sometimes forget to stay out of touchy-feeley range; but Mommy very kindly refrained (thank Cod) from violating my purrsonal space while I played Wild Lion Killing a Gazelle on the Serengeti Plains.

After I shredded the evil behemoth blades with my deadly daggers Mommy braided them into a rope for some extra super-duper strength.

She may have been trying to reel me in here.

Anyway, the rope was immensely satisfying to chomp on, and later in the evening I yakked up an epic grassball!

Scouty = 1

Mommy = 0

Happy Thursday!

XX  Scouty the Brave  XX

Mancat Monday

Kitties!

Tiny Johnson here, just hanging out on the Comfy Sofa with my bro Maui.

Mommy put this fleecy blanket out for us.

We love it.

Please excuse Maui.  He has a stunted sense of decorum.

He's a pretty good brother, otherwise...

...wait...

...is he touching me? 

He IS touching me!

*sigh*

Maybe if I close my eyes and pretend I don't notice he'll stop.

Maui:  hee hee...I can do this all day!

Happy Monday!

XX  Johnny & Maui  XX

Touching Tuesday, Plus Something ELSE!

Kitties!

Scouty here.

I have something absolutely AWFUL to report.

 I got TOUCHED!

Twice.

In one day.

Here's evidence of a sort:

 Mommy just grabbed my TAIL!

I was all sacked out and sleeping and stuff, and I lost track of my tail.

Just because it was all dangly-down and floofy does NOT give Mommy the right to sneak up on me.

EVER.

After this terrible intrusion on my person I needed a nap, so I went and slept on another ramp.

Deeply.

So deeply, Daddy snuck up on me and STROKED me, like four or five times!

I'm ashamed to admit I was enjoying it until I woke up and realized I was being violated and not having a really good dream involving pretty GirlCats.

Kitties, it was horrible.

I don't know how The Baby endures this:

 I mean, really!

Look at how Mommy is dressed!

 It's hard to decide which is worse.

The touching,

or the fashion faux paws.

Speaking of The Baby, I have some really BIG NEWS to report:

She's the featured Kitty on Katt Food!

Check it out...she's a verreh tasty dish, indeed.

Happy Tuesday!

XX  Scouty